You’re here! That means it’s Monday, or it’s feeling like one. Don’t worry Greatist has your back. Subscribe to our newsletter for direct access to Mondays with Minaa, a mental health column by our resident self-care expert, Minaa.

mondays-with-minaa-self-care-tipsShare on Pinterest
Design by Alexis Lira

Hi, and Happy Monday!

Hopefully, you managed to target your personal space areas to start decluttering. If that went well, stick with it. If you’re having a difficult time, it’s important to consider that maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to do too much too fast.

As we continue the work of decluttering, we might find that it’s not our messy room or the piled dishes causing us stress — but it could be the people in our lives. Sometimes, it’s our relationships that need decluttering.

A few weeks ago, I did an Instagram poll where more than 3,000 people said that they struggle with ending friendships, even though they know they need to. When I asked why, the common responses I received were that they’re afraid of:

  • making a big decision that can’t be undone
  • not being able to make new friends
  • being lonely

It can be very scary to make a big decision (especially when it comes to the people in your life) without knowing what will be on the other side of it. But it’s important to assess where you currently are and where you want to be.

If a relationship is making you feel bogged down, would you rather stay in it because it’s familiar, or release yourself to make room for something more fulfilling?

Here are some signs that your platonic or romantic relationship might need to be cleaned out:

  1. The relationship is one-sided, and you do all the heavy lifting to hold it together.
  2. Your partner or friend doesn’t respect your boundaries.
  3. You feel unsupported and unheard most of the time.
  4. You’re generally uninterested in spending time with the other person(s), and any time you do spend together feels forced and unfulfilling.
  5. You can feel it in your gut that it’s time to move on.

Journal prompt. This week, I encourage you to assess your relationships — gauging the level of respect, mutual interest, reciprocity, and trust in each. If you find that any are consistently falling below your standards, ask yourself what you’re gaining by hanging on to that relationship?

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t try to work through concerns, as every relationship has them. But anything that consistently takes up space in your life without adding value to it needs to be decluttered.

Next week, I’ll be back to discuss what it looks like to declutter our social lives. Stay tuned!

With love,

Minaa B.