Sometimes, a friend with certain benefits is exactly what a person needs. Instead of jumping straight into a relationship, or seeking out a one-night stand, an, ahem, friendly buddy can satisfy a person’s needs without messy emotions getting in the way.

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While this doesn’t always work out in practice, it’s definitely a nice idea. And if you’ve ever found yourself with a friend with benefits, then you’ve likely had these conversations with them… as told by The Godfather.

1. “This is the best idea I’ve ever had in my life…”

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Friends with benefits. What could possibly go wrong?

2. “It’s just physical…”

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We’re both on the same page. This is going to be great.

3. “We’re not in a relationship, so we can ask each other to do anything…”

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No restraints. A totally freeing sexual experience, with zero repercussions or emotional interferences. Brilliant.

4. “But we don’t hang out anymore…”

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When did we last hang out outside the bedroom? Don’t you miss that?

5. “You haven’t replied to my texts…”

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I’m a human being, not a piece of meat. I’m so done with this.

6. “Once more won’t hurt…”

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Emotionally (and physically, tbh).

7. “It was never meant to be this complicated…”

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I never wanted to ask this, but where do we stand?

8. “Were we ever friends or…”

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Maybe we were never really friends to begin with.

9. “I might have fallen for you…”

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Amy Mackelden is currently developing a show called MS Is My Boyfriend, about what multiple sclerosis is really like. Follow her on Twitter @AmyMackelden.