Content Note: Sexual Violence

Rape (including unintentional rape) is a huge problem in our society. But one of the strongest ways you can combat it is by learning to cultivate awareness of your own partner’s experience. Notice the ways you listen to your partner’s verbal and nonverbal cues to determine whether or not they’re expressing enthusiasm, and practice listening with all your senses. Consent is sexy, and that’s not just some throwaway catchphrase: When you really dive in deep (heh heh) to consent culture, you open up a kind of vibrant sensuality that you never even knew existed.

Tikva Wolf is the author of the books Ask Me About Polyamory! and Love, Retold, as well as the creator of the popular webcomic Kimchi Cuddles.