We love our furry friends more than we love most people, which means we obsess over every little thing they do. And when it comes to their health? Weird doesn’t even begin to cover it…
1. You measure your pet’s food to precise specifications.
2.5 scoops or 2? You know exactly how much will leave your furbaby satisfied, but not stuffed, because post-dinner belly rubs are a must.
2. You call the vet anytime your pet does something slightly different.
When your pup’s usual hour-long nap turns into an hour and a half, sometimes you just need to hear a professional tell you it’s not doggy depression. Or worms. Or food poisoning. Because the internet is a black hole of pet-health despair.
3. You have weekly weigh-ins to maintain your pet’s physique…
4. You give your pet filtered water because she’s too good for tap.
Who knows where that regular water has been, and you can’t help it if your dog prefers Voss.
5. You rid your home of all grapes, chocolate, and other potential toxins.
Fido is resourceful, after all. And you’re pretty sure he could find his way on top of the fridge if there was a snack up there.
6. You set them up on playdates with other pets to take care of their mental health.
Dog parks were invented for a reason, people. And even the most independent cats could use a friend to nap with.
7. You obsessively read the ingredients on your pet’s food.
Processed sugar? Meat byproduct? Sorry, not good enough. Thank god for Instinct—it’s made with real, raw meat, fruits, and vegetables and no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives, so you can rest easy knowing your best friend is getting the nutrition she needs.
8. You give up that beach vacation so you can afford her bougie vitamins.
Listen, Fluffy needs a supplement to help her fur shine more than you need a tan.
9. You hire someone to check on your pet while you’re at work.
And not just any someone—your pet nanny had to pass a rigorous interview, background check, meet and greet, and aura cleansing. Plus, you expect photo updates every hour on the hour.
10. You get your pet a doggy Fitbit to make sure he’s staying in shape.
How is he going to live forever if he isn’t getting his daily steps in? Now you always have a workout buddy.
11. And the most important job of all: You examine your pet’s poop.
Total body health means not only examining what goes in but what comes out. Hey, you gotta do what you gotta doo-doo.