Mood swings, fatigue, bloating, cramps, crying over a Huggies commercial… anyone with a vagina knows PMS is the worst. The only thing that could make your period suck less (besides an entire sleeve of Girl Scout cookies) is binge-watching your favorite trashy reality television. PMS is full of ups and downs, so you know these feelings…
1. TFW the cramping begins.
Here we go again.
2. Bloating is real AF.
In the words of Regina George, “Sweatpants are all that fit me right now.”
3. Forgetting to bring a tampon/pad and not knowing if you have any quarters for the machine in the bathroom in case your period starts.
Me: Everything’s going to be fine.
Also me: Today has the potential to imitate the prom scene from Carrie.
4. Tripping over your own feet like…
5. When you’re craving every food imaginable.
Can’t. Stop. Eating.
6. Convincing bae to run out and bring back whatever your heart desires.
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend? Puh-lease. Fries are all I need!
7. And feeling absolutely ZERO guilt about it.
You only live once, right?
8. Having to pee a lot more than you usually do.
But… I literally just went to the bathroom five minutes ago.
9. How you *really* want to respond when people ask, “How are you?”
Does that answer your question?
10.Overreacting to every little thing.
Forgive me. I’m not myself this week.
11. How I look to the entire world while PMS-ing.
Do. Not. Try. Me.
12. When people try having a conversation while you’re having the WORST cramps of your life.
13. Attempting to explain to all your male friends what sudden mood swings feel like.
It is what it is.
14. Suddenly feeling like everything’s doomed and you can’t seem to do anything right.
I just want to crawl into a hole and die.
15. When someone suggests easing your cramps with a heating pad.
Right… like I haven’t tried that already.
16. Having a full-on BREAKDOWN after randomly thinking about how you’ll never be friends with Beyoncé.
17. When bae initiates sex, but all you feel is…
How about spooning instead?
18. Accidentally catching a glimpse of your bloated belly in the mirror.
Well, there goes my confidence.
19. Noticing your symptoms are slightly worse compared to previous months.
Something weird is going on, and I’m going to get down to the bottom of it.
20. Celebrating the arrival of your menstruation because that means the emotional rollercoaster is over (for now).
Princess Gabbara is a Michigan-based journalist and storyteller. Follow her on Twitter and Instagram @PrincessGabbara.