Attraction isn’t only sexual in nature, which is why the term “bisexual” doesn’t resonate with some peeps who are attracted to multiple genders. Some folks need an emotional, romantic connection beyond the physical to feel attraction, so they may prefer the term biromantic.
What does it mean to be biromantic? It means that a person is attracted to multiple genders. While the prefix bi means two, in this case it doesn’t necessarily refer to the gender binary of only men and women.
Instead, biromanticism means someone may be attracted to their own and genders other than their own, or even to all genders. This means a person can be attracted to someone who identifies as non-binary and still be biromantic. Someone who is attracted to all genders may also identify as panromantic.
Being biromantic differs from bisexuality because this attraction is about how the person makes your heart feel and not how they make your sexy parts feel. They make you blush but they don’t get you flushed. Catch the drift?
Dating is complicated, but how you define who you’re into doesn’t have to be. There are several signs you might be biromantic.
- When you think about a future partner, you think about how they make you feel and their gender isn’t an important factor.
- When you’re dating, gender doesn’t play a role in deciding who you want to spend time with or commit to.
- You can picture yourself in a romantic relationships with people of varying gender identities, whether your own or different than your own.
Since sexual orientation and romantic attraction don’t always align, it’s possible to identify as both biromantic and another sexual identity.
Biromantic covers how you feel about others romantically, but another term may be needed to explain how you identify in a sexual sense. Here’s a few common combinations of biromanticism and sexual identities.
If you’re biromantic asexual, you feel romantic and emotional attraction to multiple genders but sexual attraction to zero genders.
Many people who identify as asexual still want to build relationships in a way that has nothing to do with sex. This doesn’t mean biromantic asexuals never do the nasty, but it means that isn’t a factor in who they decide to date or build a relationship with.
Keep in mind, sexual desire is not the same as sexual attraction. Desire is about the act whereas attraction is tied to the sexual partner. Biromantic asexuality may look different and it’s up to each individual to define what that looks like for them.
Demisexual is a sexual orientation that means a person must feel a romantic connection with someone in order to be sexually attracted to them. A one-night stand, though gratifying for some, is not likely a goal of a demisexual.
Combine a demisexual identity with being biromantic and it means you are emotionally drawn to multiple genders. Once you make that emotional connection with a person of any gender, then you desire a sexual relationship as well.
Before you think that biromantic heterosexual is an oxymoron, remember that sexual orientation and romantic attraction can differ. In this case, a person feels a deep emotional romantic connection to people of multiple genders, but only sexually attracted to a different gender.
For example, being a biromantic heterosexual woman means that a person is romantically attracted to people of multiple genders, but only experiences sexual attraction to men.
Being biromatic homosexual means a person experiences romantic attraction to multiple genders but sexually only wants to do the deed with someone of their own gender.
For example, a biromantic woman experiences emotional attraction to multiple genders but only experiences sexual attraction to women.
These are just a few examples of possible sexual orientations that can go along with biromanticism.
There are online resources that may help in better understanding what it means to be biromantic and how to talk about it with your friends and family.
- The Bisexual Resource Center is a 501(c)3 nonprofit with a 35-year history in providing resources to folks who identify as bi, pan, or fluid.
- GLAAD is a leader in changing the conversation and promoting LGBTQ+ acceptance.
- The Trevor Project is the resource for LGBTQ+ youth. They offer a 24/7 hotline to provide immediate and life-saving support.
Coming out is a journey. Sexual orientation and attraction can be fluid and identity labels can change. Show yourself kindness through the process.
Seek support from accepting family and friends. Don’t feel pressure to define your biromanticism by anyone else’s terms. Remember, your identity is yours to define, or to not define.