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Real Sex Is Nothing Like Porn (and Why You'll Never Eat Hot Fudge Again) [Video]

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Ever wonder if you’re doing it right? If you’ve ever streamed a little pleasure TV, you may have questioned your sex life (and your goods). A new video, which went viral in just a few hours, clears up common sexy-time misconceptions all by way of food visuals. Disclaimer: This video is probably NSFW.

Created by NYC-based production company KB Creative Lab, “Porn Sex vs. Real Sex: The Differences Explained With Food” has already racked up over two million views in just a matter of days. The message: Porn is nothing like real-life sex (sorry to disappoint, people).

For men, the porn star penis versus civilian penis stat (and visual) may be reassuring (though the ferocious chopping of the cucumber may hurt to watch). And for the female viewers, this video may restore confidence about the appearance of your privates — if yours doesn’t resemble a canned apricot, that’s perfectly normal. Perhaps you’ll ditch the waxing or razor after learning how many men and women regularly wear fur bikinis — 85 percent and 65 percent, respectively. One thing this video undoubtedly accomplishes is temporary food aversions. (We won’t be touching hot fudge sundaes for a while… especially the kind with marshmallow sauce.)

It’s comforting to know that, while porn stars always seem at the ready, the average “real person” needs a solid 10 minutes before it’s okay to pop the toast in the toaster oven.

And shut the front door! Forty percent of people have engaged in light bondage? To put it in perspective, that’s two in every five people.

Though this video was pretty silly, we have to commend its creators for conveying some blush-worthy info in an easy-to-understand, digestible way. The stats pretty well speak for themselves, so we’ll spare you extra details about the hot fudge and whipped cream parallels. As a final note, we’re sure it will be a long time before you combine Nutella and banana ever again (if not because of the visual, because of the all-too-real audio).

Were any of these stats especially surprising to you? Will you ever look at Nutella the same? Let us know in the comment section below or tweet the author @nicmcdermott

I try my best to eat foods that make me feel good, but I have a lot of sweet teeth. I completed a 1-month ShakeWeight "challenge" ... well... Read More »