Long-distance relationships pose many challenges, though perhaps the biggest downside of being apart from your S.O. — aside from, obviously, not seeing each other — is not being able to enjoy sexual intimacy regularly.
But just because you can’t physically have sex together, doesn’t mean you have to reserve every ounce of pleasure or desire for those rare moments when you’re back in the same bed.
In fact, that sexual chemistry is more important than ever when you’re in an LDR.
“If you’re not working to keep your sexuality connected to your partner when you can’t physically touch them, it becomes less of a romantic relationship,” cautions Gigi Engle, a certified sex coach. “You lose the intimacy that you have when you’re with someone in real life.”
The solution? Work at it — and be creative! Be willing to get inventive, open, and playful to keep the sparks alive. Here are some tips to keep the intimacy going on and on, whether you’re 200 miles apart or 2,000.
1. Get techy
Initiate a bit of tech foreplay and suggestive flirting with your partner. Try:
sexting throughout the day
texting flirty messages
You can opt instead for exchanging flirty messages via a chat app like WhatsApp — or even Apple Notes like this couple. These apps can help break the ice and keep the exchange private (and away from the more mundane conversations of daily life).
2. Get on with the dirty talk
Use dirty talk as a chance to reminisce about past sexual experiences with each other and fantasize about future sexual encounters together. Phone sex can be fun!
3. Masturbate together
Have fun talking over the phone about the sex toys you want to try together, including remote app sex toys that let you take control of your partner’s pleasure. You can even try role-play during masturbation sessions over the phone. Plus video apps like Skype, Google Hangouts, and FaceTime can help you feel like you’re right there with your partner — even if you’re separated by hundreds of miles.
4. Share porn scenes you both like
Discuss the benefits of watching porn together and give each other feedback on what you like most about your favorite scenes.
5. Put it in writing
Write erotic handwritten cards to your partner to let them know you’re thinking about them in all the best ways.
6. Talk about your next sexy time together
If you’re missing your partner, dive into the distance, and send flirty texts about the last time you saw each other. Daydream about the next time you’ll be together by describing what you want your partner to do to you. Put yourself into the moment. And let them do the same!