When it comes to great sex, size does matter—but not in the way most of us think, says Darius Paduch, Ph.D., director of Sexual Health and Medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College. A bigger penis in no way guarantees a bigger orgasm for a woman. A more modestly sized guy who knows how to use his penis well can help a woman achieve a better orgasm than a man who has a penis porn stars would envy, Paduch says.

Plus, it’s not just size: Shape is just as important to figure out which sex positions will curl your toes, which may be painful for the woman, and how much manual clitoral stimulation she’ll need. So rather than getting caught up in specific measurements or making comparisons—which are likely to create anxiety that will interfere with bedroom performance and pleasure—maximize what your mama gave you (or your man). There are positions and fun skills that will make sex mind-blowing for you and your partner, no matter how hung or bendy his member is.

The Churro

The same thin girth from base to tip, length varies
The Churro

One of the reasons women enjoy penetrative sex is the fullness factor, says sex educator Patti Britton, Ph.D., M.P.H. So when a guy has a thin penis, his partner may not be able to feel him against her vaginal walls. And if she’s delivered children vaginally or is heavier, her vaginal walls may have widened or become looser, meaning he won’t feel very stimulated either, Paduch says.

Your action plan: If a guy has a thin penis, it’s best for the woman to keep her thighs close together, says Keesha Ewers, Ph.D., a functional sexologist. This narrows her vaginal canal, creating more friction and intensifying sensations for both partners. Doggy style is a great position, especially if he stimulates her clitoris with his hands at the same time since most women need some form of clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm, Britton says. If he’s on the longer side, Ewers suggests trying the bandolier. The woman lies on her back so he can enter her while on his knees—that way, she can tuck her knees together and place her feet on his chest. This not only tightens the vagina, it also lets her control how far he penetrates, which can prevent him from hitting her cervix and causing pain.

The Italian Salami

Above-average girth and length
Italian Salami

He might be the envy of some guys in the locker room, but a guy who’s well-endowed often has to proceed carefully during intercourse. He may fear hurting his partner so much that he avoids penetration altogether, Paduch says. Men tend to thrust harder and deeper when they’re in the heat of the moment, so a bigger guy can hit a woman’s cervix and cause pain, Britton says. On the upside, since a woman’s clit is very close to the vaginal opening, a magnum penis is more likely than smaller members to push up against the clitoris during intercourse and give her that added stimulation, Paduch says.

Your action plan: The key with a big penis is making sure the woman can control the angle, depth, and pace of thrusting, Britton says. Woman on top, with her squatting or kneeling, is going to give her the ability to lower herself down and choose how deep she wants to go. And because the frenulum (underside of the penis head) has the densest nerve endings, more shallow penetration won’t affect his ability to come.

Spooning is also ideal because he can’t enter too far, plus it gives him easy access to fondle her breasts and clitoris, helping increase her arousal (and chances of orgasm) as she adjusts to his size, Ewers says. Whatever positions you prefer, have lube on hand—with a big guy, it’s nonnegotiable, Paduch says.

The Cucumber

Average girth and length; doesn’t vary in girth along the shaft
The Cucumber

Talk about getting lucky: Almost every position is a good one for cucumber penises, because most women can easily accommodate average-sized members.

Your action plan: Go ahead, bust out the Kama Sutra and see what you two like best. Also keep in mind that men respond very well to visual stimuli, and the more aroused they are, the firmer and thicker they get, making sex hotter for both partners, Britton says. So any position where he can get a full frontal view of her body is going to do you both good. Britton suggests standing doggy in front of a full-length mirror. He penetrates her from behind, enjoying watching her from many angles at the same time and giving her breasts some love.

The Gherkin

Undersized in girth and length
The Gherkin

There is a very small percentage of men who do have what’s medically classified as congenital micropenis, which measures less than three inches when erect and is thought to be caused by inadequate testosterone levels during fetal development, explains Geo Espinosa, director of NYU Langone’s Integrative Urology Center. While it may be harder for women to squeeze their vaginal walls against a micropenis and feel penetrative stimulation, it certainly doesn’t mean that sex can’t be o-inducing.

Your action plan: You’ll want to focus on positions that provide the best depth of penetration. Try putting a few pillows under her butt and lifting her legs up and over his shoulders in missionary. Or have her come to all fours on the bed while he stands above her so he can pull her hips onto him—a modified version of the plow.

And let’s not forget oral and manual stimulation. He can use either to elicit her first orgasm so the penetrative sex becomes less important or bring her close to orgasm and then insert his penis for completion. It's also worth considering a couple’s vibrator that can be worn inside her vagina during intercourse, such as the We-Vibe or Lelo Ida, Britton adds.

Positions and toys aside, an undersized guy might have penile anxiety that leads to some erectile dysfunction, Paduch says Are early and current erectile problems associated with anxiety and depression in young men? A retrospective self-report study. Jern P, Gunst A, Sandnabba K. Journal of sex & marital therapy, 2012, Oct.;38(4):1521-0715. . Adrenaline and other stress hormones can decrease blood flow to the penis, making erections less rigid and full, Paduch explains. Sexual enhancement drugs such as Viagra and Cialis can give this guy the best boner he’s capable of achieving, Britton says. While these medications are safe for young, healthy men, be sure to only use them under the supervision of a physician—never recreationally, Paduch adds.

The Rocket Popsicle

Narrows at the head, any length
The Rocket

This penis is thicker the base and narrows out as you move upward. It’s a totally normal variation as long as the narrowing isn’t drastic, Espinosa says.

Your action plan: For this guy, doggy style can feel fantastic for the woman, even if the guy is longer, because the narrowing at the tip lowers the chances that it’s going to hurt her as he enters, Ewers explains. And since the majority of a man’s sexual sensation is derived from the tip of his penis, specifically the underside called the frenulum, more stimulation or pressure there will increase his pleasure, Britton says. So if the woman squeezes her pelvic floor while he’s inside of her, it will further constrict his penis and give him greater sensation.

The Kielbasa

Short and stout
The Kielbasa

While a long penis can be arousing for a woman, a thick one is more likely to bring her to orgasm, Espinosa says. The important thing for a thick, shorter guy is choosing positions that give him the leverage to go deep.

Your action plan: Ewers suggests standing downward dog, which works just as it sounds: The woman assumes down dog yoga pose and her guy enters her from behind. To better stimulate her G-spot, missionary with the guy on his knees as he holds her legs upward in a straddle position is great. Spooning also works if you angle your torsos further away from each other so your genitals can make better contact, Ewers says.

The Banana

Curved upward,or downward; any girth and typically a longer length
The Banana

Men with longer penises may have a natural curve. Typically never more than 10 degrees, these develop during puberty, Paduch explains. (But anything more than a 10-degree curve might be a sign of Peyronie’s disease, which is caused by scar tissue along the penis, usually due to an injury. And if the angle is greater than 25 degrees, Espinosa recommends seeing a urologist. Erections and penetration can be extremely painful for some men with Peyronie’s, and they may need medication or a surgical intervention to correct the curve.)

Your action plan: For an upward curve, any position where partners face each other is going to perfectly align his penis with the natural curvature of the vagina, Paduch says. The pogo stick—where he stands with her legs wrapped around his waist, and he holds her as they bounce up and down—is Ewer’s go-to suggestion for bananas. This will give him more contact with the g-spot, which is located on the top wall of the vagina, about a third of the way in. Many women report that orgasms from G-spot stimulation feel different and more intense than clitoral orgasms. For a downward curve, reverse cowgirl is great for the same G-spot stimulation.

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