The word "sexy" can be empowering and encouraging, and, well, sexy. But as Instagrammer Megan Jayne Crabbe (you might know her as @bodyposipanda) points out, the word can also have a dangerously narrow definition. For years, Crabbe says she believed that sexy meant being thin, flattering, and wearing outfits that "emphasise the 'right' places and hide the 'wrong' ones."
With two photos—one in traditionally sexy lingerie and the other in everyday underwear—Crabbe proves that we can play by our own rules when we're trying to look and feel sexy. It's all about finding joy and confidence in rockin' whatcha got.
I've realised lately that I don't like the word sexy. For most of my years I've believed that sexy has to look a certain way. Sexy has to be thin. Sexy has to be flattering. Sexy has to emphasise the 'right' places and hide the 'wrong' ones. Sexy has to be catered towards the male gaze. Most of all, sexy has to be about being sexually appealing, being a commodity and selling yourself well. So when people comment here calling me sexy, I cringe. Because I'm not here for that. Not anymore. I spent a lot of years thinking that I had to be someone else's definition of sexy to be worth something, and I tried so hard to find validation in their gaze. I saw myself as that commodity and I did everything I could to sell myself well. Not anymore. I'm done playing by those rules that kept me small and made me think my only value was being appealing to someone else, fulfilling someone else's idea of what I should be for them, do for them. From now on when I think about the word sexy I won't think that I have to twist and contort myself into an image like the one on the left in order to be worthy. Because sexiness should be about joy, and freedom, and confidence in exactly who you are. It shouldn't be about pleasing anyone but yourself. So guess what? You can wear lacey lingerie and feel sexy. But you can also wear massive knickers and old sports bras and feel sexy. Or you can say to hell with sexy and find your power in other things. Whatever you do, make sure it's for you. Fuck spending your life trying to fit what anyone else thinks you should be. 💜💙💚🌈🌞 Lingerie on the left by @dearscantilly 💫