There’s too much Internet—including Congressmen competing over Fitbit results—and too little time. That's why we curate a list of the best of the best (aka "the Greatist") things we've come across on the Web this week. In other words, it's the stuff we'd email/gchat/tweet/text you immediately if we were besties. While we'll never stop striving to bring our readers amazing content on a daily basis, we know not all the best stuff comes from us.

1. Yoga Joes: The Classic Green Army Men Doing Yoga (Kickstarter)
G.I. Joe has gone from battlefield veteran to zen master. The founder of Brogamats, purveyors of yoga bags that look like logs and burritos, has now unveiled his newest product: an ode to our favorite green soldier figurines in yoga poses including downward-facing dog, cobra, and warrior two. These Joes pump a little testosterone into yoga classes otherwise dominated by Barbie and American Girl Dolls.

2. For Posteriors’ Sake (The New York Times)
Sir Mix-A-Lot was way ahead of the curve when he rapped: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.” Two decades later, we’re in the midst of a booty revolution. Female backsides were the main attraction in a number of music videos this summer, from Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda,” to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off,” and Jennifer Lopez’s just-released “Booty.” But it’s not just the music industry that has embraced women’s curves. Derrieres are prominently featured on everything from Instagram to the fashion world—and theSports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, which might be the middle ground of the two.

3. With This Thing Strapped On, Even You Could Run a 4-Minute Mile (CNET)
You can go from casual jogger to Usain Bolt in no time, thanks to a special jetpack developed by scientists at Arizona State University. The 11-pound contraption is worn like a backpack and seems like a mixture of the Road Runner and The Jetsons. The incredible propulsion force helps users run faster while expending less energy. The jetpack wasn’t just designed for fun. It could have serious real-world impact for soldiers, who find themselves in situations where they have to get in and get out quickly.

4. What Time of Day Do People Run? (Runner’s World)
Sure, we might talk about waking up with the birds and going for a morning run. But new data compiled from 177 million users of the RunKeeper app in 30 countries proves we’re all talk. Most countries show a dramatic spike in runs during evening hours (5-8 p.m.). India is the only exception with a morning spike between 5 a.m. and 7 a.m., which can be attributed to cooler temperatures and fewer cars on the roads.

5. Happy 50th Birthday, Pop-Tarts: A Ranking of the Most Delicious Flavors (UpRoxx)
Pop-Tarts, the dessert-for-breakfast pastry cherished by Americans for generations turns 50 this week. To celebrate, our friends over at UpRoxx ranked the toaster pastry’s 10 best flavors. Brown Sugar Cinnamon and Cookies & Creme made it into the top five without much of a fight. But which flavor came out on top?

6. Why Are We So Fat? The Multimillion-Dollar Scientific Quest to Find Out (Wired)
By now we know what makes us gain weight: consuming more calories than we burn. A handful of well-funded scientists are going deeper and questioning long-held beliefs about what we should and shouldn’t eat. Does general overeating cause us to pack on the pounds? Or is there such a thing as good calories and bad calories? Much of what we know—or think we know—about nutrition is based on observational studies, so these controlled trials could offer concrete findings in a field filled with ambiguity. And maybe then we'll finally we able to answer the question: Is butter good for us?

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