Some days, logging a run feels empowering and wonderful. Other days, well, those morning miles makes you question everything you thought you ever knew about exercise.
If you’ve ever chafed during weekend strides or felt like you wanted to stop running within three minutes of starting, then you’ll definitely relate to these 24 thoughts that pop up during every run.
1. Lacing up your sneakers.
“As soon as I finish this run, I’m getting donuts. Plural. No, bacon. No, donuts. Bacon donuts? Yes.”
2. Jumping up and down putting on running tights.
“Please. don’t. rip. Please. don’t. rip.”
3. Walking down the stairs.
“Why on earth are my legs this sore right now?”
4. Trying to locate a GPS signal on your running watch.
“If this takes more than another 30 seconds, I’m going back inside and watching Netflix.”
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5. Five strides in.
“Kinda, sorta would rather not be doing this right now … ish.”
6. When anything Kendrick Lamar comes on.
“I am king/queen/ruler of this entire sidewalk.”
7. When you hit your first hill.
“Is this feeling in my right calf a charley horse or is this just me being obscenely paranoid?”
8. Against the wind.
“How are there headwinds no matter which way I run?”
9. The first mile marker vibrates on your wrist.
“Beer. Is it time for a beer yet?”
10. You forget momentarily that you didn’t want to be running in the first place.
“Did I remember to turn my stove off? Is my door locked? Did I leave the fridge open?”
11. Searching desperately for a water fountain.
“WHEN DID I ENTER THE SAHARA?”
12. Reaching into your running belt for some eats.
“Who was the first person who thought we should put these runner-friendly carbohydrates in this candy-like form? Because they are brilliant.”
13. Second hill.
“Dude, are you staring at me? You’re definitely staring at me. I don’t need your judgy side-eye over here.”
14. The halfway point.
“OK. Good. Now, just redo what you just did and you are g-o-l-d-e-n.”
15. When you look at your pace.
“I do not suck. I’m just sleepy. I do not suck. Come on, self. You are better than this.”
16. You remember you didn’t put on sunscreen.
“Man. This sports bra tan is going to look like pure perfection on my date tomorrow night.”
17. Your phone starts blowing up.
“That’s great that you’re feeling SO hungover and everything, but sorry, I’m over here winning at life.”
18. Hello, burst of energy.
“You may as well start calling me Meb.”
19. You get passed by two cute friends running.
“If I turn around now and stay about 12 feet back, maybe they won’t realize I’m staring at both of their butts.”
20. Chafing happens.
“I need to start taping Body Glide to my front door so I don’t forget it on my way out.”
21. Walk break.
“If I speed walk and wave my arms like a raving lunatic, it’s just like I’m running, right?”
22. You get your second, final wind.
“The faster I run, the faster I’ll be standing in the glorious cascading water of my shower.”
23.A cool breeze kisses your cheeks.
“Oh, hell yes. Thank you, Lord. Please don’t ever stop.”