No words are needed. You’re going to thank us for this one.
When it comes to great sex, size does matter — but not in the way most of us think, says Darius Paduch, PhD, associate professor of urology at Weill Cornell Medical College. A bigger penis in no way means a bigger orgasm.
A more modestly sized individual who knows how to use their penis well can help their sexual partner achieve a better orgasm than someone with a penis porn stars would envy, Paduch says.
Plus, it’s not just size. Shape is just as important to figure out which sex positions will curl your toes, which ones might be painful for your sexual partner, and how much manual or clitoral stimulation your partner will need.
Don’t get caught up in specific measurements or making comparisons — which are likely to create anxiety that will interfere with bedroom performance and pleasure. Instead, maximize what your mama gave you.
Certain positions and skills will make sex mind-blowing for you and your partner, no matter how hung or bendy your member is.
The same thin girth from base to tip; length varies
One of the reasons people enjoy penetrative sex is the fullness factor, says sex educator Patti Britton, PhD, MPH. So when someone has a thin penis, their partner may not be able to feel it against their vaginal walls.
And if that partner has delivered children vaginally or has a larger body, their vaginal walls may have widened or become looser. So they won’t feel very stimulated either, Paduch says.
Your action plan: If you have a thin penis, it’s best for your sexual partner to keep their thighs close together, says Keesha Ewers, PhD, a doctor of sexology. This narrows the vaginal canal, creating more friction and intensifying sensations for both partners.
Doggy style is a great position, especially if you stimulate the clitoris with your hands at the same time. Penetration alone is most often not enough — some form of clitoral stimulation is usually needed in order to orgasm, Britton says.
If you are on the longer side, Ewers suggests trying the “bandolier.” The person being penetrated lies on their back so you can enter them while on your knees. That way, they can tuck their knees together and place their feet on your chest.
This not only tightens the vagina but also lets your partner be in control of how far you penetrate. And that can prevent you from bumping their cervix, which can be unpleasant.
Above-average girth and length
You might be the envy of others in the locker room, but someone who’s well-endowed often has to proceed carefully during intercourse. They may fear hurting their partner so much that they avoid penetration altogether, Paduch says.
In one study, a group of women surveyed said they preferred a thicker, longer penis, but only for one-night stands. For long-term relationships, slightly smaller was just fine.
There’s often an urge to thrust harder and deeper in the heat of the moment. But a large penis can hit the cervix and cause pain, Britton says. On the upside, since the clitoris is very close to the vaginal opening, a magnum penis is more likely to push up against it.
Your action plan: The key with a big penis is to make sure your partner can control the angle, depth, and pace of thrusting, Britton says. Being on top, either squatting or kneeling, is going to give them the choice of how deep they want you to go.
And because the frenulum (the underside of the penis head) has the densest nerve endings, more shallow penetration won’t affect your ability to orgasm.
Spooning is also ideal because you can’t enter too far. Plus, it gives you easy access to fondle your partner’s breasts and clitoris. Their arousal (and chances of orgasm) will increase as they adjust to your size, Ewers says.
Whatever positions you prefer, have lube on hand. With a big penis, it’s not negotiable, Paduch says.
Average girth and length; doesn’t vary in girth along the shaft
Talk about getting lucky. Almost every position is a good one for cucumber penises. Most vaginas can easily accommodate average-size members.
Your action plan: Go ahead — bust out the Kama Sutra and see what you two like best. Also keep in mind that you may respond well to visual stimuli. The more aroused you are, the firmer and thicker the penis gets, making sex hotter for both of you, Britton says.
Any position where you can get a full frontal view of your partner’s body is going to do you both good.
Britton suggests standing doggy in front of a full-length mirror while you penetrate your partner from behind, watching from many angles at the same time and giving the breasts some love.
Undersized in girth and length
A very small percentage of people are born with what’s medically classified as congenital micropenis. These smaller-sized members measure 3 inches or less when erect.
They’re thought to be caused by low testosterone levels during fetal development, explains Geo Espinosa, director of NYU Langone’s Integrative Urology Center.
It may be harder to squeeze the vaginal walls against a micropenis and feel stimulation. But it certainly doesn’t mean that sex can’t be O-inducing.
Your action plan: Focus on positions that provide the best depth of penetration. Try putting a few pillows under your partner’s butt and lifting their legs up or over your shoulders in missionary.
Or have your partner come to all fours on the bed while you stand above them so you can pull their hips onto you — a modified version of the plow.
And let’s not forget oral and manual stimulation. You can use either one to elicit an orgasm, so the penetrative sex becomes less important. Or you can bring them close to orgasm and then use penetration for completion.
It’s also worth considering a couple’s vibrator — one that’s worn inside the vagina during intercourse. Examples include the We-Vibe and the LELO IDA, Britton adds.
Positions and toys aside, someone with an undersized penis might have penile anxiety that leads to some erectile dysfunction.
Sexual enhancement drugs such as Viagra and Cialis can give you the best erection you’re capable of achieving, Britton says. While these drugs are generally safe, use them only under a doctor’s supervision, Paduch adds.
Narrows at the head; any length
This penis is thicker at the base and narrows as you move upward. It’s a totally normal variation as long as the narrowing isn’t drastic, Espinosa says.
Your action plan: If you have this type of penis, doggy style can feel fantastic for your sexual partner, even if you are longer. Narrowing at the tip reduces the chance that it’s going to hurt your partner as you enter, Ewers explains.
And since most sexual sensation comes from the tip of your penis, and specifically the frenulum, more stimulation or pressure there will increase your pleasure, Britton says.
So if your partner squeezes their pelvic floor while you are inside, it will further constrict the penis and provide greater sensation.
Short and stout
While a long penis can be arousing for some, a thick one is more likely to contribute to your partner’s orgasm, Espinosa says. The important thing for someone with a thick, shorter penis is choosing positions that give them the leverage to go deep.
Your action plan: Ewers suggests standing Downward Dog, which works just like it sounds. Your partner assumes Downward Dog, and you enter them from behind.
To better stimulate the G-spot, try missionary position while you kneel and hold your partner’s legs upward in a straddle position. Spooning also works if you angle your torsos farther away from each other so your genitals can make better contact, Ewers says.
Curved upward or downward; any girth and typically a longer length
Longer penises often have a natural curve. These curves develop during puberty, Paduch explains.
Anything more than a 10-degree curve, though, might be a sign of Peyronie’s disease, which is caused by scar tissue along the penis, usually due to an injury. And if the angle is greater than 25 degrees, Espinosa recommends seeing a urologist.
Erections and penetration can be extremely painful for those with Peyronie’s. They may need medication or surgery to correct the curve.
Your action plan: For an upward curve, any position where partners face each other is going to perfectly align the penis with the natural curves of the vagina, Paduch says.
The “pogo stick” is Ewer’s go-to suggestion for bananas. You stand with your partner’s legs wrapped around your waist and hold them as they bounce up and down.
This will give you more contact with the G-spot, which is on the front wall of the vagina, about a third of the way in.
Many people report that orgasms from G-spot stimulation feel different and more intense than clitoral orgasms. For a downward curve, “reverse cowgirl” is great for the same G-spot stimulation.
It’s natural for you to worry your penis isn’t up to par. Some people even try various methods to extend their natural length or girth.
Yet the old saying is true: It’s not what you’ve got, it’s how you use it. A penis of any shape or size can deliver pleasure to a partner — you just need the right techniques.
