You’re going to disagree with your significant other—it’s just a fact of life. But if that arguing happens on the reg, it could lead to some major long-term health problems. An ongoing relationship study with nearly 80 married couples found the way you argue matters: Couples who frequently got into angry spats were more likely to have heart problems, such as high blood pressure and chest pain, while people who gave the cold shoulder all the time had a higher chance of developing neck and back pain.

These findings don’t prove fighting leads to high blood pressure or a stiff neck—it’s merely a correlation. But it’s the perfect reminder that talking honestly to your person about any issues you have is much better for your relationship (and your health) than sparring.

(h/t New York Times)