Sure kale is great, but have you seen cheese fries? It’s this thought that left us wondering: Why can’t we make healthy, low-cal snacks out of our favorite junk foods?

Many of your favorite chain restaurants and fast food spots have items on their menu that are less than 100 calories. Plus, they’re also highly portable. (BYO Ziploc baggie, food scale, tweezers and shot glasses.) And no, we’re not talking about McDonald’s apple slices (uh, ew), we’re talking big-time indulgences—Cinnabon rolls, Big Macs, and Starbucks Frappuccinos—just on, uh, a smaller scale. Don’t forget to stop at just one oh-so-satisfying portion!

Disclaimer: This article, along with many others posted on April 1, is meant to poke fun at articles you might read elsewhere. Our snacks aren’t meant to be taken seriously, but the calorie counts are real. Read more about our reasoning behind this little practical joke here. Happy April Fools’ Day!