Every day it seems like there’s a new low-cal, low-fat, low-sugar, high-protein ice cream in the grocery-store freezer. And every day we wonder, is this the future? Can we really have our ice cream and eat it too? But then reality sets in and we remind ourselves: This is what it’s actually like to dig into those so-called “ice creams”…
1. You’re hesitant because let’s be real: Most “diet” food tastes like unwashed feet.
But your pants are feeling extra tight, so you decide it must be done.
2. You make it to the store, but you’re overwhelmed with options.
Eventually, a game of eeny, meeny, miny, moe decides the winner.
3. You head home with your chosen pint.
You’re fantasizing that maybe you’ll get to your ideal Olympic swimmer body… while also enjoying a pint once in a while.
4. Upon opening, you realize it doesn’t look like ice cream at all.
It looks jagged and dry, like the surface of the moon. Oh, God, what have I done?
5. You dig your spoon in, and it’s like chiseling into Charlie Hunnam’s rock-hard abs.
But just like wishing for a date with Hunnam in real life, this is going nowhere fast.
6. OK, you finally manage to penetrate this obvious abomination masquerading as ice cream.
Maybe part of the diet is the workout that comes from scooping this crap out…
7. But as soon as it reaches your tongue, you realize it tastes like distilled sadness. Is the main ingredient orphans’ tears?!
Why would anyone ever make something that tastes so wrong?
8. You figure, hey, maybe it just takes some getting used to, so you try another bite…
And no. It still most closely resembles a concoction of wheat paste and the dregs of diet soda.
9. You decide you’ll try a different brand tomorrow, and when you do, it’s a slight improvement…
It resembles the disappointment your parents tell you they feel about your “choice” to not become a doctor. (Still couldn’t pass organic chemistry, Mom).
10. Your friends tell you about another brand that’s supposed to be “better.”
So you try it, but it still doesn’t hold a candle to the real stuff, and you start to wonder why you’re still doing this.
11. You’re about to swear off ice cream forever, but then you discover Chilly Cow.
What’s this? A frozen dessert that actually tastes awesome? Could it be? Yep, Chilly Cow is made with ultra-filtered milk and is extra creamy. It’s lower in fat and higher in protein than regular ice cream and still delicious.