2,500 miles didn’t put a damper on my love life… or sex life. In fact, it was when I was 2,500 miles away from my partner that I experienced the best sexual awakening of my life.
Getting to know a new partner in that way can be awkward, especially when across the country. Establishing an open line of communication is essential regardless of whether you live with your partner or if your partner lives far away.
According to Better Health Australia, “it takes two people to have a relationship and each person has different communication needs and styles. Couples need to find a way of communicating that suits their relationship.”
I found this out when I asked my partner what he was into in an effort to keep the flame burning from across the country. We were a month out before getting to see each other again and I was growing impatient, but my partner felt weird listing off the things he wanted to try with me on the spot.
That’s when one seemingly boring app changed the game for us: Apple Notes.
Recently, Apple updated the app to make it collaborative — if you have an iPhone, you can collaborate on a note with another iPhone user. My partner and I put this new update to good use. On a phone call one night, I suggested we make a list of the things we wanted to try next time we saw each other.
The next day I was blushing on the train.
As I sat on the subway for my daily commute home, I pored over my notes in efforts to clean it up and clear some space on my phone. That’s when I stumbled upon our list and discovered that he had added some things midday.
Hot and bothered on the train, I shifted in my seat until I could get home and call him. When I got home, I realized he was probably still at the office because it was only early afternoon in California. Two can play at that game, I thought. I added something to the list and shot him a text.
It soon became a game — who could get the other most turned on at the most inappropriate times. It was playful. It was fun. It was hot. Surprising each other midday was one of the many perks of using Apple Notes to collaborate on our sexual bucket list, but it wasn’t the end game.
At the end of the day, we wanted to get to know each other and we wanted to pick up where we left off when we saw each other. Apple Notes helped make this possible. It helped us skip over the clumsy newness of being together again after a long time.
It was like taking our already great sex and decorating it with different toppings. Having only a few days together at a time for a while, it helped make each time different and memorable. So much so that we began to think of our sex like “Friends” episodes: The time where we… well, use your imagination.
Aside from the obvious perks, I learned a lot. I don’t know if you’ve checked out Apple Notes as of late, but these days you can draw, include links, photos, and attach things. Forget high school sex-ed. This is way better.
Before using this app, I thought of myself as someone who knew sex, but I was surprised at how many things I didn’t actually know. Not only did I learn things, but I also opened my mind to things I said I’d never try.
On a long-term scale, I think this has made me a better partner when it comes to communication and compromise. It’s so rewarding to open yourself up and be vulnerable in that way with someone you trust. You may end up surprising yourself.
If you ask me, Apple Notes is the best. For my relationship — for me and my partner — it broke the ice when we struggled to do it ourselves. It helped us get to know each other more intimately. When sex fell flat — as it does for some couples after a while — it made each time better and better. One of the greatest parts is: We can look back on what we’ve tried and look forward to what we’ll try next. My rating for the app: 10/10. Would definitely recommend.