If we’re to believe soda commercials, opening a can of the bubbly beverage livens up any moment. A bottle quenches your thirst after a game of basketball, gives you the energy for a fun day in the sun, and if you’re Taylor Swift, it somehow makes cats appear out of thin air. We’re not just being sold a beverage, we’re being sold happiness. (Coke had a whole campaign with the tagline “open happiness,” after all.)
But if these ads were being honest, they’d tell us we’re basically sipping on a bottle of liquid candy—or perhaps “wet sugar with bubbles” is more to the point. The clever people over at Cracked made this parody of a soda commercial that will definitely make you think twice before you pick up your next can of Coke.