It’s pretty safe to say that no one likes being told to lose weight. If it’s a medical professional saying it in a kind way, and your health is at risk as a result, then being told to lose weight might still suck, but it probably isn’t an insult (although fat-shaming is never OK, whatever the circumstance—and doctors can be guilty of that too).

But sometimes, despite living your best life, nonmedical personnel try to intervene, offering hints and tips about keeping fit and eating better. Of course, this “advice” often isn’t needed—and is rarely wanted. Here are some perfectly reasonable reactions to being told you should go on a diet, when you’re totally happy with who you are, thank you very much.

1. Do you have any other helpful suggestions?

Tell me more. On second thought, don’t.

2. But why?

I was feeling great until you decided to imply I need to change. What gives?

3. No, thank you.

I live the way I want to live. Walk on.

4. These snacks aren’t going to eat themselves.

So much food. So little time.

5. Quietly raging.

Healthy eating is great and all, but I like what I like. I’m not giving up the food I love because somebody else thinks I should.

7. You won’t like me when I’m angry.

You also won’t like me when I’m hungry.

8. Why did you have to go there?

My body is none of your business.

9. You’re getting blocked.

People have been blocked for way less. Sorry not sorry.

Amy Mackelden is a weekend editor at ELLE, Harper’s BAZAAR, and Marie Claire. She’s written for Cosmopolitan, Bustle, Ravishly, The Independent, The Guardian, Hello Giggles, and Teen Vogue. She’s currently developing a show called MS Is My Boyfriend, about what multiple sclerosis is really like. Follow her on Twitter @AmyMackelden.