If you’ve been through a particularly rough breakup, this video from The School of Life hits a little too close to home—that is, once you get past the bizarre animated veggies on your screen. We know firsthand how much better it feels letting your Sig O down easy, instead of ending things bluntly. So we tell them how amazing they are and claim, “It’s not you, it’s me!” But as this video explains, sending those mixed signals is actually selfish and narcissistic.