Sometimes, a friend with certain benefits is exactly what a person needs. Instead of jumping straight into a relationship, or seeking out a one-night stand, an, ahem, friendly buddy can satisfy a person’s needs without messy emotions getting in the way.

While this doesn’t always work out in practice, it’s definitely a nice idea. And if you’ve ever found yourself with a friend with benefits, then you’ve likely had these conversations with them… as told by The Godfather.

1. “This is the best idea I’ve ever had in my life…”


Friends with benefits. What could possibly go wrong?

2. “It’s just physical…”


We’re both on the same page. This is going to be great.

3. “We’re not in a relationship, so we can ask each other to do anything…”


No restraints. A totally freeing sexual experience, with zero repercussions or emotional interferences. Brilliant.

4. “But we don’t hang out anymore…”


When did we last hang out outside the bedroom? Don’t you miss that?

5. “You haven’t replied to my texts…”

I’m a human being, not a piece of meat. I’m so done with this.

6. “Once more won’t hurt…”


Emotionally (and physically, tbh).

7. “It was never meant to be this complicated…”


I never wanted to ask this, but where do we stand?

8. “Were we ever friends or…”


Maybe we were never really friends to begin with.

9. “I might have fallen for you…”


Dead.

Amy Mackelden is currently developing a show called MS Is My Boyfriend, about what multiple sclerosis is really like. Follow her on Twitter @AmyMackelden.