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Vajayjay. Flesh canoe. Coochie. No matter what you call them, vaginas are awesome. But sadly, there are a few factors that can make them taste not-so-great.

We’re here to debunk some myths about how vaginas taste. Here’s what a vagina should actually taste like and how you might be able to improve your downstairs musk.

In short, a vagina tastes like a vagina (and technically, we’re talking about the vulva here). Everyone has their own unique tang, but there are some common flavor profiles that are totally normal for your yoni.

Metallic

Blood naturally has a metallic taste due to high levels of iron. That’s why your vag may taste like pennies right after you surf the crimson wave. It can take a few days for your vagina to flush out any lingering blood.

Salty

On a normal day, you’re bound to sweat. Since sweat is naturally salty, your bits might have a hint of saltiness. Excess sweat may cause a subtle sour taste, especially if you’ve been wearing restrictive underwear all day. This is normal.

Urine can also taste a bit briny, so avoid drip-drying when possible.

If your vagina’s typical perfume becomes a full-on stench, your body might be trying to tell you something. Here’s what your vag shouldn’t taste or smell like.

A rose bush

Vaginas aren’t meant to taste like fresh flowers or a juicy, ripe 🍑. If you lather on layers of scented lotion, your natural fragrance can clash with that scent. This can make your hoo-hah taste not-so-great and can welcome unwanted bacteria.

Think of it this way: Smothering tacos with floral scents is not a delicious combo.

Eau de seafood

If your coochie reeks of leeks or the Seattle fish market, there’s a problem. A fishy or oniony smell could be a symptom of bacterial vaginosis. This condition can also cause yellowish discharge.

A fishy odor can also stem from a sexually transmitted infection (STI) called trichomoniasis. This parasitic infection can leave your vagina smelling like a bad plate of salmon.

If the odor is intense or you have unusual discharge, you should call your gyno right away or take a trip to your local clinic.

There’s no evidence of a surefire way to change your vagina’s taste permanently. But keeping your bits clean and healthy will help them taste the way they’re supposed to.

How to clean your vag 101

Your actual vagina — the internal canal — is like a self-cleaning oven. You really don’t need to go out of your way trying to clean it.

The most important thing you can do is take care of your vulva, the outer part of your bits. This includes your inner and outer labia (lips), clitoris, and clitoral hood.

Believe it or not, there’s a right way and a wrong way to wash your cooch. Here are some important tips:

  • Rinse thoroughly with warm water. Vulvas existed for a long time before modern hygiene practices. Using harsh or scented soaps can do more harm than good — they frequently cause irritation.
  • Get in those crevices. Spread your labia apart with your fingers and use a warm washcloth to cleanse (gently!).
  • Wash your butt regularly. Your playground is closely positioned to your body’s dumpster.
  • After you pee or drop a deuce, wipe from front to back. This prevents unwanted bacteria from spreading from your bum to your vag.

A menstrual memo:

You can wash your vulva the same way during your period. If you’re worried about the smell, you can use unscented cleansing wipes a couple of times a day to keep things fresh.

Your vagina’s smell can tell you a lot about your health. Here’s what your vag might be saying if something seems funky.

It’s science, b*tch!

Vaginas are naturally acidic, which helps them fight unwanted bacteria. A healthy vajayjay should have a pH between 3.8 and 4.5. Using a new medication or bath product can change your natural chemistry.

If your pH levels are off, you’re more prone to bacterial infections. An unbalanced pH can also lead to irritation and inflammation.

You are what you eat

Sorry, Kim K., pineapple won’t actually make your hoo-hah taste sweet. But your diet can definitely affect how you taste. Asparagus is known to make your pee particularly pungent, and it can also affect your vagina.

Spicy foods, like curry, may also impact your taste. Spices can make you sweat a lot, making your coochie more aromatic than usual.

Blame it on the alcohol

Drinking a lot of booze can make you sweat more than usual. It can also change the taste of your sweat and other bodily fluids, including those in your vagina. So if someone goes down on you after a night of partying, you might taste a little tangy.

Tobacco use

Smoking cigs can negatively impact your whole body, including your vagina. The smoke smell absorbs into your skin and hair, so both your mouth and your nether regions may taste a bit like an ashtray.

The added chemicals in cigarettes can also make your vag taste more bitter and acidic.

Poor hygiene

Even though your vagina does a great job of cleaning itself, it’s a good idea to do some basic pubic hair maintenance. If you’re rockin’ a bush, more power to you. But keep in mind that you have to wash your pubic hair regularly since hair absorbs smells.

As long as your vagina is healthy, you shouldn’t have an unusual odor. But there are some ways to avoid certain unwanted flavors.

Drink H2O

If you’re dehydrated, your pee will be more pungent and cloudy, and your vag may also be more fragrant than usual. To keep your bits wet, clean, and happy, stay hydrated. Drinking plenty of water will also help flush out your urethra.

Eat this, not that

A healthy diet helps your body run smoothly. Try to add more nutrient-dense foods to your meals.

It’s a good idea to avoid eating anything super spicy for about 30 minutes before someone goes down on you. And while not everyone experiences a bad smell after munching down on asparagus, it’s better to be safe than sorry.

Some other foods that might have a negative effect on taste:

  • garlic and onion
  • dairy
  • sugary foods
  • red meat

Wear cotton undies

If you wore a 100 percent polyester bodysuit, you’d start to sweat. Your vagina deserves the same breathing room as the rest of your body. So let it breathe!

Undies made from synthetic fibers can be really restrictive for your bits. Switch to cotton as often as possible. It’s also a good plan to go commando when you sleep.

Cut back on booze and stop smoking

Smoking and heavy drinking aren’t good for anyone. In addition to tons of other health issues, cigarettes and alcohol can change your vagina’s taste in a not-so-pleasant way.

Use nonporous sex toys

Sex toys can be the bomb, but you have to be careful about what they’re made of. Some toys have lil’ microscopic holes that bacteria love to breed in.

Make sure your sex toys are made from nonporous materials, and always clean them super well after use.

Are there any pills that can help?

There’s no science to support supplements that can make your vagina taste better. But taking a probiotic may help balance your bits’ bacteria if they’re out of whack.

Don’t do the douche!

Douching is bad. Period. It can mess up your natural pH level, which can lead to infections and weird smells.

Certain washes that contain glycerin and fragrances can fuel bad bacteria, allowing them to multiply. Your vagina is amazing at self-care, so you don’t need to waste your money on harmful “hygiene” products.

If your vag smells like low tide, you may have an infection. If you notice an unusual odor, it’s important to call your doctor. There are plenty of remedies to cure these types of infections, so get it checked out ASAP.

It’s also time to give your gyno a call if you have any of these symptoms:

  • itching or burning
  • red and irritated skin
  • unusual discharge
  • burning when you pee
  • abnormal bleeding
  • fever
  • abdominal pain
  • pain during sex

If your partner loves going down on you and notices a different flavor, call your doc. But unless you have an actual problem — like an infection — your vagina definitely tastes fine. If you encounter a partner who refuses to go down on your because of your scent, dump ’em.

Just remember: If your vagina were meant to smell like a piña colada, it would smell like a piña colada. You should never be ashamed of having a vagina. Keep it clean and give it the love it so rightfully deserves.