Movies and advertisements can lead us to believe that everyone has sex on their mind 24/7. But as this video from The Science of Us explains, there’s more than one type of desire. Yes, some people are always raring to go (what researchers call “spontaneous desire”). But it’s also completely normal to have “responsive desire,” which is when you feel hot and bothered only after your partner makes a move. Whatever gets you going (or if you’re always going), the most important thing is to put pleasure first and go from there.