When it comes to sex, men are horny all the time—at least if stereotypes are to be believed. That means they’re accustomed to getting turned down by partners from time to time, but a surprising new study found that men underestimate how often their Sig O wants to get hot and heavy.

Researchers had 139 couples keep a daily journal to track when they desired sex as well as when they thought their partner was interested. Women were great at gauging men’s level of interest; men, not so much.

But that’s actually a good thing for guys. If they were to overestimate, chances are they’d be rejected more frequently, which sours the mood for all parties.

The bottom line here: You can avoid this mind reading altogether by just talking to your Sig O, rather than keeping your desires confined to some private journal.