More like The Spy Who Loved Booze, amirite? The British Medical Journal has published a very silly study of the James Bond novels, which worked out the superspy’s official alcohol consumption: 45 standard drinks per week. Appropriately enough, the study is titled, “Were James Bond’s drinks shaken because of alcohol induced tremor?” and states 007’s drinking habits would put him at risk of hypertension, depression, cirrhosis of the liver, and impotence (“which would considerably affect his womanising,” the authors note).

Bond also routinely drove drunk, and at one point in Casino Royale, he consumed over 30 standard drinks, got into a high speed car chase, crashed his car, and spent two weeks in a hospital. “We hope that this was a salutatory lesson,” reads the study, which estimates that Her Majesty’s finest would die of alcohol-related illnesses by age 56.

While a scientific study of James Bond might seem pretty pointless, it’s being used to increase awareness of the dangers of alcohol overconsumption, which might be relevant this holiday season!

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