There’s too much Internet—like the fight scene from 300 recreated at the gym—and too little time. That's why we curate a list of the best of the best (a.k.a. "the Greatist") things we've come across on the Web this week. In other words, it's the stuff we'd email/gchat/tweet/text you immediately if we were besties. While we'll never stop striving to bring our readers amazing content on a daily basis, we know not all the best stuff comes from us.

1. Edible Espresso Cup Is the Breakfast of Champions (Eater)

Sipping on a cup of espresso is already one of the best parts of our morning. But one West Hollywood coffee shop is making that caffeine kick even more enticing by serving up espresso in edible cups that looks like waffle cones lined with chocolate. If that isn't reason enough to #treatyoself, we don't know what is.

2. Nobody Wants to Be the Girl on a Diet (New York)

A fascinating paradox exists in our society, especially among women: thinness is prized, but no one wants to be seen as that guy or gal on a diet. Saying things like dressing on the side, light cheese, and no bread is a surefire way to get the spotlight shone on you at any dinner table. As this story from our friends at New York magazine so eloquently points out, maybe it’s time to stop hiding the fact that living a healthy life isn’t effortless, it takes work.

3. The “Cheek Reducer” And Other Insane Moves from a 1960s Exercise Book (Vox)

Looking at this exercise manual from the 1960s is sure to produce a few full-belly laughs. Sucking your cheeks in a fish-like manner won’t make them more chiseled and flutter kicking in a sitting position while talking on the phone won’t do much to lose inches on your thighs—unless you’re on the phone all day. This kind of retrospective shows just how much we’ve learned about exercise physiology in the last four decades. And then we remember that the Shake Weight exists...

4. Looking for Pie in All the Wrong Places (Modern Farmer)

Spending a few hours in the demoralizing world of online dating—with all the swiping and messaging—is enough to make anyone want to go back to old-fashioned courting rituals. As our friends at Modern Farmer point out, pie suppers were a central part of dating culture in the early 20th century. Women would whip up a pie for these socials and men would bid on the pies (without knowing their baker) to raise money—typically for the local school. The winning bidder of each pie got to share a slice with the baker. Sexist aspects aside, these pie suppers might be getting at something deeper here: pumpkin pie lovers shouldn't date those who prefer pecan.

5. Can Your Job Help Your Brain Age More Gracefully? (The Atlantic)

It’s crazy to think about the impacts that your chosen profession will have on you later in life. And we’re not talking about finances here, but instead cognitive abilities. Do high-skilled jobs (architects, lawyers, musicians) lead those individuals to have better memory recall and think more clearly as senior citizens than those in lower skilled jobs? A new study says the difference is noticeable but no more than typical lifestyle changes—like refraining from excessive drinking and smoking. So no need to take the LSAT just yet.

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