We’d love to spend all of our time on the Internet looking at these adorable photos of puppies swimming underwater—we dare you not to say “aww” out loud when looking at them—but that means we’d miss so many other important stories, like the fiery debate raging on about what to put in your s’mores. That’s why we curate a list of the best of the best (aka “the Greatist”) things we’ve come across on the Web this week. In other words, it’s the stuff we’d email/gchat/tweet/text you immediately if we were besties. While we’ll never stop striving to bring our readers amazing content on a daily basis, we know not all the best stuff comes from us.

1. Is Nothing Sacred? Forest Service Says Drop Chocolate, Add Fruit to Your S’mores (Fox News)
A blog post from the U.S. Forest Service got many Americans fired up, saying don’t harsh my mellow—marshmallow, that is. A group of s’mores purists roasted the government agency for suggesting that campers use fruit, such as banana chunks or grilled pineapple, in place of milk chocolate. The House Majority Leader—yes, the second most powerful member of Congress—sent a memo to fellow Republicans where he joked that he should be wrapping his marshmallows in kale. Thankfully Sesame Street provided us with a kumbaya moment with the release of Star S’mores, a Star Wars parody.

2. Your Fancy Non-Cotton Workout Clothes Stink (Science of Us)
It turns out moisture-wicking, body-hugging, performance-improving sportswear still gets smelly after a long workout—even more smelly than good ol’ cotton apparel. Scientists in Belgium let sweaty workout clothes from a few dozen spin class devotees sit over night and then had a “trained odor panel” (note to self: not our dream job) sniff the apparel to determine which smelled worse. The science behind why cotton came out on top is fuzzy at best, but we’ll definitely be adding more plain t-shirts to our workout wardrobe.

3. 7 Fruits You’re Buying Wrong (BuzzFeed)
Sometimes finding ripe produce at the grocery store feels more like playing the lottery, just with fruit and vegetables. Sure, the avocado looks a nice greenish-brown hue and feels ripe to the touch, but who knows if it’s really past due or not? Luckily our friends at BuzzFeed put together this handy video that explains the foolproof ways to pick everything from watermelon to mangos.

4. A Week Drinking the Black Blood of the Earth, the Gnarliest Coffee on the Market (Vice)
Ever finish a cup of coffee and think, “Man, this was good, but I really wish it was 40 times stronger?” That’s just what one radiation specialist at UC Berkeley has created and appropriately named the black blood of the Earth. All you need is one quick sip—typically the size of half a shot—to get your body buzzing with the beautiful effects of caffeine.

5. 43 Science-Backed Health Hacks for Busy People (Buffer)
We’re all about #lifehacks here at Greatist, from skipping the snooze button (it gets easier over time, we promise!) to trying out Tabata for a quick, effective workout. And lucky for us, our founder and CEO has been collecting his favorite fitness, food, and happiness hacks. Rather than keeping all the tips and tricks to ourselves (and building a staff with superhuman capabilities), he’s sharing them with you.